YOU + RAGE = ?
How is your relationship with your rage?
Is it explosive and out of control?
Is it terrifying to you?
Are others around you filled with rage and you don't know what to do?
Are you above rage?
Are you all love and light and float and flow?
Is it non existent in your reality?
Rage is very challenging force to be with when it has been deemed inappropriate, dangerous, and negative for so long isn't it? When those around you (or maybe even you at times) have created so much damage and chaos and pain from what seems to be a place of rage.
If only we could just be peaceful, zen, through life right? That's what would make life easier? Or more comfortable at least. That is, if the "undesirable" emotions have been denied and rejected.
The thing is, on this Earth, in this plane, dimension, reality we live in, there is polarity. And whether we choose to deny it or embrace it, it exists in all of us. We are made of, not JUST water, air and prana, but also earth and FIRE.
To become whole is to embrace and embody ALL aspects of ourselves.
Through the journey of healing and remembering, when we start to create space within us to let the pent up, locked down, denied emotions seep up to the surface (sometimes they barge up unapologetically or even desperately once that space opens up), it can be very overwhelming and very uncomfortable (to put it lightly).
Last year was the first time I was able to sit with my rage without judging it, resisting it, judging myself, or throwing it at someone or something else... and wow.
Rage. Is. Powerful.
The thing is... when we have trapped it in for so long, this wild force can abruptly erupt when space is created for it to move. It moves. Because that is what rage does.
The energy and force and power of rage doesn't give a shit.
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately depending on where it's coming from), WE often do care.
It makes me think of the first time a young man has sex. There is this primal force inside him that churns, moves, rises, and in his amatuerness and the clumsiness of being new, it can quickly erupt out of him. But as he practices (let's pretend this is a highly conscious self aware man), as he learns to build a relationship with himself and this force within him, with practice (and failing many times) he begins to master it. As in, he can ride the wave, he can amplify it, he can slow it down or speed it up, and he can allow it to engulf him completely; he has a level of mastery with it. He can co-create with it. (This is true for women or any sexual-identity too of course, but this was just the vision that popped into my mind. The awkward teenage boy.)
This is our relationship with rage.
It is deep.
It is primal.
It is a destructive force.
It is the Kali energy of the unapologetic destroyer.
But in it's undisturbed, undistorted, unresisted state, it destroys for love.
It destroys to break down that which is NOT love, that which is no longer serving the Highest, so that the cycle of creation and rebirth can continue.
Gaia (the spirit of Earth) is currently reflecting this relationship. Look at the volcanoes that are erupting in Hawaii and Guatemala. Of course this energy is moving through us as well, we are all in this together. Our bodies are reflecting Her body.
Go look at pictures and videos of these eruptions. Notice if you feel fear or awe. Maybe a mix of both. If you don't quite feel awe for the raw force of rage, let yourself feel the awe for the lava pumping from the earth. Then, remember and know that that is yours as well. That the primal force of rage that surges through your blood, through your limbs, that lights up and fires up your whole body is not only worthy of that level of awe, but commands it.
So how do we build this relationship with rage?
The same way we build any relationship.
We create space for it.
We sit with it.
We ask if questions with the desire to really get to know it. "Why are you here? What is your desire and intention? Where am I in your way? How can I serve you? How can I love you more?"
Then we listen.
Like really listen.
Then we serve. We build this relationship together with rage.
Knowing that anytime we commit to something, we will fail. That is a necessary step in learning and growth.
So forgive yourself right now for all the future times you will fail while building this relationship with rage. Give yourself permission to do so. Build trust with yourself by promising yourself you will love yourself, be with yourself and have your own back even in those times that it gets messy.
We are doing an amazing job of navigating this humaning business.
I know it's hard.
It's so hard and it's so painful.
Keep breaking open to the pain and to the rage.
There is so much joy waiting for you at the center of the pain.
And there is so much freedom waiting for you at the center of rage.
(I'm purposely saying INSIDE and not "on the other side of" or "when you rise above". That's just more of the bypassing, denying, suppressing and resisting. We MUST go into the fire to find the glowing gems.)