creating space for the paradox of being human

Jan 21, 2019


On the path of getting to know oneself and deepening into an intimate relationship with self and spirit, sometimes we need to step back and see the way things work from the perspective of physiology, biochemistry, and quantum physics.

This allows us to destigmatize, unshame, reclaim and depersonalize what we are experiencing.

And sometimes we need to dive right into what we are experiencing; roll around in it, see it, smell it, taste it, touch it, feel it, hold it, love it, hate it, converse with it, yell at it, play with it, be it.

This allows us to grow our capacity to live fully in every moment and own our full experience.

When we only do one or the other, we are not honouring the complexity and nuance of what it is to be a whole human.

To be healed and whole is to have enough spaciousness and curiosity within to hold space for the both/and consciousness; for the paradox of life to increase our capacity for joy, pleasure and connection, rather than create separation, defensiveness and violence.


To be able to integrate the aspects of our lives and selves that are…

spiritual | & | scientific
feminine | & | masculine
abstract | & | logical
experience based | & | knowledge based
wild and free | & | disciplined
creative | & | rational
individual | & | collective
unique | & | the same as everyone else
in pain | & | basking in juicy pleasure
innocent and childlike | & | mature and responsible

…creates the awareness for us to remember that life is 100% personal and 100% not personal. This is where evolution happens. But it begins as an inside job.

Here is a simple but profound exercise to try:

This is the simplest exercise you can do to begin to create space for nuance, paradox and the both/and consciousness.

-Find a place in your body that you feel temperature – warm or cool.
-The loudest/most obvious will stand out first, but it might also be subtle. 
-Notice what the temperature is, you can even name it internally, notice what part of your body you feel it in the strongest.
-Sit with that for a bit. If the mind wanders, bring it back to the temperature at that spot. “This is my ___(toe for example)___ and it feels ___(cold for example)___”
-Then after a minute or so, notice a place in your body that feels either a little bit different than the strongest temperature (even the trendiest tiniest bit), or maybe even the opposite.
-Name both of those internally and sit with them for a minute or so.
-Now go back to the first place, notice it, let your full attention land there, then back to the second place.
-Pendulate or dance back and forth between the two experiences (letting your full attention land there each time), until you can stretch your awareness to notice both of these experiences in your body at the same time.


This is an incredibly simple and effective technique. But that doesn’t mean it may be easy. Try it. Practice it a couple times a day. Come back and let me know what you notice.

With practice, this technique can be applied to bigger and more challenging experiences and, I believe, can change our entire life and world.

Smaller is bigger.
Slow is sustainable.
It starts with me. It starts with you.
We are all in this together.


Reflection Questions:

What are the complexities/polarities within you that you are aware of?

Where do you feel you have been able to integrate the both/and consciousness and where do you still feel the separation, confusion, judgement?

In the above | & | list, do you lean more towards or put more importance on one side of that list than the other? If so, which one?

Take a few minutes to journal on these reflections. Share in the comments below what you found.

Thank you for showing up for you.
What you do for you, affects ALL of us.